What Does It Actually Mean to Reinvent Yourself After 40?

I’m glad you’re here. You’re curious. What does it mean to reinvent yourself after 40? Good question, but even more important that you’re asking it. That’s how it starts.

I believe Ben Stein said this, but apologies if I’m incorrectly attributing the quote:

“The first key to getting what you want out of life, is deciding what you want out of life”.

Before we get into it, I think it’s important that you know my background. I’m experienced in reinvention, and I learned it all the hard way. But I want you to understand this is real, based on experience, and not theoretical. If you’d like to read my story about my “enough” moment, you can find it here.

I also know that “reinvention” feels like a lofty word. Almost too grandiose. But you can call it whatever you want: starting over, a new beginning, fixing your life, a do-over. Whatever works for you. By the way, it’s why I named my blog “Your Mulligan” because “mulligan” is a golf term for a do-over.

How to Reinvent Yourself After 40 — Three Myths

Here are three things I find a lot of people misunderstand or get wrong on the path to reinvent yourself after 40:

Myth #1: It Means Starting From Zero

First, they think it means starting from zero. This simply isn’t true. If you’re 40, or even 30 for that matter, you’ve experienced things. You’ve learned. You adapted. And you’ve been confronted with challenges and had to figure things out. You’ve had ups and downs, and you’re still here to talk about it.

Know what that means? It means you have knowledge and experience that will help you for the rest of your life. Including in this moment when you find yourself ready to change. Keep that in mind.

Myth #2: You Must Have Every Detail Planned Out

Second, they think they have to have every detail planned out. Ha! Sorry, had to laugh there for a second. If only we lived in such a world, where we could design our lives and it would just magically come to be exactly how we planned it. If that’s you’re expectation, you’re definitely in for some disappointment. But don’t stress about this. Because it’s actually great that you don’t have to know exactly how it’s going to go, or what you’re trying to accomplish. You just have to know the general direction.

Determine the outcome you desire, but not so specific that you become rigid about it, or distressed if it doesn’t turn out exactly that way. Another example might be, “I want to have a million dollars”. OK, great. Nothing wrong with that. Goals and targets are good. But if you take the appropriate actions to achieve that, and find out you can be content with less, or that you don’t need that much, or you end up with $894,382 dollars, are you going to cry about it? Again, I sure hope not!

Clarity comes from movement. It comes from taking actions, no matter how small, toward the direction of where you’re going. As I said before, you have some life experience and knowledge, and you got that by living. So set your intention on who you want to be, and get moving. Your vision will crystallize as you go. I promise.

Myth #3: It’s a One-Time Event

The third myth I see a lot of people believe is that reinventing themselves is a one-time event. Hopefully, if you’re over 40, you realize that your life has been one long reiteration. You aren’t the same now as you were at 30. You weren’t the same at 30 as you were at 20. And so on.

Up to this point, you have, and will continue to invent and reinvent yourself over and over. It doesn’t end until your life ends. If you set your intention today on who you want to become, I can almost assure you that when you reach that state, you will want to continue growing. That’s human. Progress is what we all desire. There is no final destination when you sit back and say, “That’s it, I’m finished”. You will inevitably reach that point, and decide there’s something new you want to experience. And the reinvention process begins again. Isn’t that beautiful?! I sure think so.

To Reinvent Yourself After 40 Means Changing Who You Are, Not Just What You Do

This is an important distinction. People change jobs, move cities, buy a new sports car. But nothing really changes, and those events only satisfy them for a very short while. At the heart of it, you have to change who you are – not just what you do. This is what separates real reinvention from just rearranging the furniture.

Here’s an example. You can decide that you want to eat healthier, and that’s a great choice to make. So you choose salads over cheeseburgers. You eat at home more than dining out. And you stop frequenting fast food joints. But it only last for while, and eventually the momentum dies, and your enthusiasm fades. It continues to taper off, or you simply give up because the sacrifice isn’t worth it. I pretty much just described the phenomenon of yo-yo dieting.

The fundamental difference in making a temporary change vs. a lasting change is becoming that person. If you become the person who eats healthy, it will be a permanent change. As opposed to being a person who is just trying to eat healthier, or is on a diet. Here’s an example:

I wanted to get fit. You can read my story about how I got ripped after 40 here. But instead of being an over-weight, out of shape, unhealthy guy who started going to the gym and went on a diet, I became a healthy, in-shape, fit guy at my core. It became who I am, instead of something I was doing. When you obtain that level of conviction about change, it’s forever. Because a healthy, in-shape, fit guy would never skip workouts or eat trash food. There’s a difference.

Jack Canfield, author of The Success Principles, used to host “Come as you’ll be” parties. People would show up to the party in character of who they intended to become. The exercise of doing this, was to be that person NOW. To make it who you are, instead of who you’ll be someday. For that exercise (in the form of a party) you stretched your mind to see yourself as that person now.

And I’m telling you, it’s incredibly powerful. Benjamin Hardy wrote a book called Be Your Future Self Now. It’s the same concept. Become that person you want to be, today. Healthy, financially free, successful, happily involved with a partner, or whatever your desired state of being. And then, practice it, visualize it, and believe it. This is critical.

What It Actually Looks Like to Reinvent Yourself After 40

As you embark on this journey to reinvent yourself after 40, know this: people are going to notice. Sometimes almost immediately. Sister Hazel has an amazing song called “Change Your Mind” which is about this very thing. Check it out, I love this song!

The hook says “If you wanna be somebody else, if you’re tired of fighting battles with yourself, if you wanna be somebody else, change your mind”.

And once you do, you’ll realize that you see yourself differently. And other people will see you differently too. It may take you some time to lose the weight, pay off the debt, save the money, get the promotion, find love, or whatever that person you became intends. But it’s already in you. You’re that person now. The person who “did the thing”. Now it’s just a matter of time for it to fully manifest the result. But the change already happened.

If right now you’re doubting my words. Doubting yourself. I’ll just ask you to trust me. I’ve been where you are, and I know for certain that this works. Just follow my advice, and you’ll see that I’m right. Change who you are from the inside out.

How to Reinvent Yourself After 40 – Starting Right Now

If you’re ready to reinvent yourself after 40, then here are some concrete, actionable items you can do right now to get rolling.

One, ask yourself this question, and answer it. Write it down, and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day. “Who do I want to become?”

Two, make a list, or write a description of what *that* person does. If it’s a fit person, they work out and eat right. Or a financially free person, they don’t spend money on stupid stuff, they don’t use debt foolishly. If it’s a person romantically involved, they take a genuine interest in other people, they show loyalty and vulnerability. Whoever it is you want to be, put it into words, and review it daily.

Three, share it with a friend or loved one. If you have neither of those in your life yet, share it with me. I’ll support you. But share it. Life is a team sport, and when people know who you are becoming, they want to help you do that. And if they don’t, then seek better friends, or find someone who will. This is important.

Conclusion

Reinvention isn’t a destination. It’s a decision you make, then keep making. You need to be clear about what you want, who you want to become, and what that looks like and means to you.

Expect resistance. Nothing worth doing is easy. That would be boring. There will be challenges, obstacles, and fatigue. There will be days you question yourself, or want to give up. Don’t. As one of my dearest friends often says to me, “This thing that you want to do… millions of people have done it before.” You’re not attempting something that’s never been done before. You are simply choosing a new path for yourself. Totally doable, and absolutely worth it.

And again, if you need support, want to talk about it, encounter resistance, or feel like giving up… I’m here. I mean it.