You Are Not Broken
This may be a short post, but here’s the deal- you are not broken. Even though they want you to think you are. Advertising, marketing, sales, social media, mainstream media, and even family and friends benefit when they can lead you to believe that “something is wrong” and you need to fix it.
Sometimes that’s the need to purchase something to solve a non-existent problem. Take for example anything which is based around your aesthetics. Your weight, your skin, your hair… I won’t even list them all. Each of these industries or vendors wants you to solve a problem they created so that you’ll purchase their products. Do you NEED a tan? No. Do you NEED make-up? No. Do you have to have a gym membership to exercise? Negative. Do you have to drink electrolytes to stay hydrated? Nope. Should I keep going?
There’s nothing wrong with you. Right now, here, in this moment, you are enough. You are perfect. You are deserving of love, and friendship, and to live a whole, complete, and fulfilling life. Nothing required to get it.
I understand that may be contradictory to the theme of a site about reinventing yourself. But here’s the key difference. If you desire to improve that’s totally normal and an innate human characteristic. We are instinctually motivated to want to experience progress. It’s in our DNA. If you choose to change your aesthetic, improve your health, or even consume more salt water, knock yourself out. Just don’t do it because some ad or influencer told you that you need to. Because you are not broken.
It’s a Scam
Our economy is based on self interest. Think about it. Companies are self-interested in getting you to purchase their products, so that they can grow and make more money. Consumers (us) are self-interested in consuming these things because we believe in some way or another, they will make our lives better.
The government: city, county, state, federal, want you to hold this desire for “more” or “better” indefinitely, because your consumption funds their initiatives. Earn more money and pay more taxes. Buy a bigger home and pay more taxes, as well as fill it with furniture and other stuff. Purchase goods and services, pay more taxes, and the vendors who sell you these things… guess what? Pay more taxes in sales tax and income tax. They also pay their employees who… oh boy… pay more taxes. See a pattern?
One of my favorite phrases, and I have no idea where I heard it, is:
They need the drones to keep droning.
They need worker bees to carry out their objectives. And the best way to keep the worker bees working is to keep them in a perpetual state of lack or perceived need. The more you want, the harder you have to strive to get it.
It’s Kind of Dirty If You Think About It
This point is illustrated easily in a few ways. Let’s start here. Apple releases a new iPhone. People get it, and for a while, they’re satisfied. Until they release the next, “new and improved” version. Now the consumer is discontent with what they have. It works fine, has been serving them well, doing what it’s supposed to do. Calls, texts, pictures, emails, games. But wait! This new version takes BETTER pictures, plays MORE games, or can store more of your crap. It’s almost abusive.
We’ve seen it illustrated by them getting in trouble for intentionally obsoleting products so that consumers are forced to upgrade. To me, that’s like your cancer doctor leaving just a little bit of tumor in there so you have to come back for more treatment eventually. Dirty.
Another example is inflation. The government has some control over this, so do vendors. You work, and earn a dollar. But tomorrow that dollar is worth 99 cents. So you have to either work more to make up the difference, or strive for a raise to accomplish the same end. Scam. I picture a room full of people in suits sitting around a conference table discussing the ways they can make sure we all show up to work tomorrow, bust our asses even harder than we did today, and get more out of us.
The conclusion they come to is: make money worth less than it was yesterday. Allow advertisers to drive the need to acquire stuff. Make debt easy to obtain so that people can shackle themselves to an amount they can never escape. Then the suits retain control. “I owe, I owe, so off to work I go”. Or, maybe it’s “I want the new iPhone” or “a better car” or “a bigger house”. And the list goes on forever.
The Only Way to Win Is Not To Play the Game
Recently, in my own life, I’ve observed something I’m intellectually very aware of. But when it’s personal, it’s more meaningful. And that’s the crabs in a bucket analogy. I once heard or read that if you put a bunch of crabs into a small bucket, that even though many of them will try to escape, as soon as one appears to have reached the tipping point to get out, the others will grab them and pull them back in.
Now I can’t verify this to be factual, but I can also illustrate it with people. When you step off the hedonic treadmill (discussed in this post) many of those around you won’t know how to react. The idea is so foreign to them, because our culture doesn’t really teach it, that they don’t know what to think.
You break free and decide to be happy with what you have, and join the “buy nothing” movement which is on the rise these days. At that point, you essentially become a financial freak. You are choosing a way that is the antithesis of our culture. And for that reason, the rats will unconsciously begin to scurry to get you to rejoin the race.
It Requires Effort
I’ll admit it too, that the pull remains. The struggle is real, as they say. I’ve sat with friends who were telling me of their successes, usually financial, or status related, and I’ve thought to myself “oh damn, I’m falling behind…. I need to get back into the race and pass them!”. Just typing that I can hear how absurd it sounds. Now, based on past experience, I can tell you that I’ve also learned how to resist that temptation. I see it happen in my mind, and I consciously choose not to react to it. I remind myself of my current favorite quote which I accidentally came up with in a conversation with my wife last week:
My currency is freedom.
I want to deliberately choose what’s important to me, and not reflexively react to the concerns, judgement, or persuasion of others. If I want to strive for some self-improvement, or attain some product or service which I perceive will make my life better, I want to do it because I want to. And not because it was sold to me, or I was peer pressured into it.
Anyway, this ran longer than I expected it to, but I’ll save any other thoughts for a future post. In the meantime, if you want to leave the race, or have some goal you want to pursue because it’s important to you, and it will genuinely improve your life (unlike the latest iPhone), then hit me up. Comment below or use the contact form. I sincerely want to talk with you. Thanks.